Truth=lies

Do you ever feel out of place like you know where you are and who you are but at the same time you feel so lost it scares the shit out you, thats how I have been feeling lately. And what you want to feel you can't even feel, because everyone around you is telling you how to feel. Feeling lost is sad it's something I rarely feel but it's been happening the older I get. I would think the older I get the more I know who I'am and what I want. Why are we so scared to say what we want, what if you knew you were going to die tomorrow then would you say what you want ha we will probably shout it from the roof top, we wouldn't be ashamed, but I'm not dying and my mouth is shut, the reality is losing yourself when you open up your mouth, it's losing your heart and soul. so instead, I will shut up not risking my heart with an awful heartbreak as before, Am I still risking my heart though for being a liar or pretending not to feel when I all I do is feel, oh mygawd., I feel every touch and kiss and the world spins and i can barely catch my breath when im like talkin to him.. the truth is,i think im there,but the lie is, i know i just can't.... somebody help me on this..

-djerty